Broken

Mark E. Haskins

August 26, 2026

We have all probably had a broken bone or two over the course of simply living an active life. More significantly and more consequentially, however, is that we have all had a broken heart at one time or another. Maybe multiple times. For some, that may be your condition right now. This side of heaven, a broken heart is unavoidable. Like in competitive rowing, however, “it’s not a question of whether you will hurt…it’s a question of what you will do … while pain has her wanton way with you.”¹

“Takotsubo cardiomyopathy” is the medical term doctors have given to “broken heart syndrome.” In a recent study, the syndrome appeared “most common in women, [but] men die from it at more than twice the rate and [if they don’t die from it], men may also have a harder time recovering from [it].”² A Christian faith does not preclude broken hearts. In a very real sense, if we are to share in the suffering of Jesus, we will experience a broken heart (I Peter 4: 12-13). The Psalmists frequently note the “sorrow in my heart,” “troubles of my heart,” “anguish of heart,” “my heart has turned to wax [and] melted away within me,” “my heart is…withered like grass,” “my heart…is dismayed,” and “scorn has broken my heart” (Psalm 13: 2, 25: 17, 38: 8, 22: 14, 102: 4, 143: 4, and 69: 20 all NIV). For any of us with some gray hair, we know the Enemy has many methods for breaking hearts including seductions, failures, ambitions, lies, losses, betrayals, and disappointments, just to name a few. Once broken, and for a time, it is as if that wounded heart is “…the central river toward which all [life] tilts.”³

As seasoned followers of Jesus, we have a role to play in the realm of broken hearts. First, we must, “…guard [our own] heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4: 23 NIV). To “guard” is to be vigilant and in possession of the means to thwart attacks. An attack may come at any time, in many forms; thus the need for an awareness of our vulnerabilities. How do we do that? We do so with a remembrance of who we are (God’s workmanship and beloved). In addition, we can rely on the power and love of the Holy Spirit in us, to move us ever closer to Jesus. And finally, we are encouraged to bring to bear the full armor of God (Ephesians 6: 11-17). It is important to guard our hearts because that is where God does His work to give us a new focus, a new array of desires, a new awareness and capacity for receiving and giving love. He gifts us with a new heart (Deuteronomy 30: 6 and Ezekiel 36: 26). That new heart becomes our very life force and identity; it is where Jesus dwells (John 17: 23, 26; I Corinthians 3: 16 and 6: 19). It is where we feel His love and closeness.

The second important part followers of Jesus have to play in the broken hearts arena is in regard to others. Jesus has the brokenhearted on His missional radar screen, as should we. Indeed, God the Father “…sent [Jesus] to make well those who are brokenhearted…” (Luke 4: 18 BBE). And, according to the Psalmist, “the Lord is near the brokenhearted and … is giving healing to [them]” (Psalm 34: 18 BBE and Psalm 147: 3 YLT). Thank goodness the Lord does not wait for people to get their act together or to suck it up before making His move—He seeks, He comes, He ministers! It is His love that mends. And, Jesus said, “I have given you an example so that you may do just as I have done to you” (John 13: 15 TCNT). We are encouraged to “…not let our love be mere words or end in talk, let it be true and show itself in acts” (I John 3: 18 TCNT). Indeed, we are called to comfort those that are hurting (I Thessalonians 5: 14, Romans 15: 1), “…especially members of the Household of Faith” (Galatians 6: 10 TCNT).

How do we minister to the brokenhearted amongst us? What can we be looking for? Broken hearts are often unseen by others, unmentioned by the victim, and often unhealed. In fact, “the shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever.”⁴ Moreover, we often don’t want to intrude, pry, or get too personal when we suspect something is amiss or hurting in another. For men especially, whether we are willing to admit it or not, we often think that a guy “will get over it,” “needs to toughen up,” or “it’s not too bad.” Not true. Broken hearts require aid, not dismissiveness. We need to ask the Holy Spirit for discernment and wisdom in initiating an aid mission to a brokenhearted friend. Broken hearts are tender ground, fertile for becoming holy ground when Jesus brings mending. Who might you feel the nudge to reach out to? Our God might be bringing to your attention such cues as a friend who:

• Has become quieter and more withdrawn than usual,
• Casually deflects or minimizes their hurt when gently asked how they are doing,
• Is more constrained and reserved in their interactions with others,
• Exhibits a heaviness, a sadness, a forlornness (Psalm 69: 1-4),
• Has had to live with chronic physical pain (Psalm 6: 2),
• Doubts the Lord’s faithfulness (Psalm 22: 1-2),
• Sheds tears (Psalm 6: 8),
• Hints of emotional distress (e.g., worry, depression, shame, fear, reclusiveness, anger, or disengagement)are evident (Psalm 18: 4 and 31: 9-11),
• Shows a lack of joy, hopefulness, optimism, or interest in tomorrow,
• Expresses feelings of being all alone, unwanted, unnoticed (Psalm 38: 11),
• Is less energized by, and motivated towards, things that once galvanized them, and/or
• Simply exhibits a loss of appetite (Psalm 102: 4).

Such outward signs often point to an inward broken heart. Just as “…every [Army] Ranger must be able to save his buddy,”⁵ we must not leave it to others to help a brokenhearted friend. What can we do? At a minimum, we can simply love them, where they are, just as Jesus loves us (John 15: 12). We can bring that love to them with sincerity and patience so that it points to Jesus. Our prayerful outreach can matter. For example, we can move toward another by:

• Engaging in the ministry of being present to mitigate feelings of aloneness,
• Offering words of love and care followed by quiet deeds emblematic of both,
• Reminding our friend of their true identity in God’s kingdom,
• Gently encouraging them to give voice to their hurt,
• Praying against the Enemy gaining ground,
• Providing a safe setting for vulnerability and tears,
• Remembering and sharing stories of seeing Jesus at work in their life,
• Not equating their hurt to any that we might have had, and
• By encouraging them to give the broken pieces of their heart to the Lord, no one else.

This latter point is important. “Jesus is in the business of making the broken whole and turning brokenness into blessing. Bring your brokenness to the One who was broken for you and watch what He can do.”⁶ The cracks in a broken heart are precisely what the Lord wants to touch. My friend Dana introduced me to the beautiful imagery associated with the 15th century Japanese art of repairing broken ceramic bowls—Kintsugi. It is a process where the glued seams of a broken bowl are “dusted with precious metals to highlight the cracks”—the “golden repair." "This method not only restored the pottery but also gave it a new life, turning its flaws into features.”⁷ That imagery (see the picture accompanying this blog post) is so apropos to our mended broken hearts for we often “become like broken pottery” in need of mending (Psalm 31: 12 NIV). We can’t unbreak what has been broken but we can seek and allow God’s healing touch. Then that new, uniquely mended heart becomes more beautiful, stronger, more loving, and more Christlike because of His redemptive and precious mends. Thank you Lord for your tender and beautiful ways for mending broken hearts. Sensitize us to those around us with broken hearts and show us how we can be your hands and feet in reaching out to them. Amen.

---

¹ Daniel J. Brown (2013), The Boys in the Boat (Penguin Books, NY, NY), p. 40.

² Aria Bendix (May 14, 2025), “Men are more likely to die of ‘broken heart syndrome,’ study says,” available at https://www.aol.com/men-more-likely-die-broken-090000153.html (accessed 5-14-25).

³ Hampton Sides (2006), Blood and Thunder (Anchor Books, NY, NY) pp. 131-132.

⁴ Carroll Bryant (September 19, 2012), “Quotes by Carroll Bryant Vol. One,” available at https://carrollbryant.blogspot.com/2012/09/quotes-by-carroll-bryant-vol-one.html (accessed 4-28-26)

⁵ Stanley McChrystal (2013), My Share of the Task: A Memoir (Portfolio/Penguin, NY, NY), p. 67.

⁶ Rabbi Jason Sobel (2021), Mysteries of the Messiah (W Publishing Group, Nashville, TN), p. 135.

⁷ Japan Daily (March 5, 2025), “Kintsugi: The Art of Embracing Brokenness and Finding Beauty,” available at https://japandaily.jp/kintsugi-the-art-of-embracing-brokenness/ (accessed 2-25-26).

NOTE: TCNT (Twentieth Century New Testament), Revised Edition, Published in 1900-1904 by Fleming H. Revell Company, in the public domain. BBE (Bible in Basic English), Published 1949/1964, in the public domain. YLT (Young’s Literal Translation of the Holy Bible), by J. N. Young, 1862, 1898, in the public domain. NIV (HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION), Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used with permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

This blog and its accompanying picture should not be distributed by any means other than sharing its web site link.